Jimmy Doom's Roulette Weal

  Photo by  Nathan Dumlao  on  Unsplash The American streets were lively and exciting to a small town Irish girl and  Oona was enjoying the vibrance. "Don't stray too far from me," her cousin Sharon told her. “It's an exciting city, but it's still a city and people and things aren't always what they appear to be.” Oona was enthralled by the sights and the sounds, while Sharon was bored but wary. Oona jerked to her right and positively cooed with excitement, pointing at Kruger’s Diner. “That aroma is heavenly,” she said, dragging Sharon toward the door. Sharon pulled back “That’s because botulism doesn’t have a smell.”

Photo by  Sven Read  on  Unsplash   Gin and frozen mini tacos were battling for intestinal dominance. Lou was getting wobbly. It would have been unpleasant at home, but he was currently at St. Josaphat, in line for communion.  Tonight was Christmas Eve, he had promised his mom he would attend mass. Now he was yards from the altar, sweating, shaking, clenching his cheeks. He needed salvation from his own bowels and it wasn’t forthcoming. Three people in front of him, Lou was Cardinal red in the face, about to soil himself. He turned and sprinted down the aisle. An elderly woman with a rosary screamed “Heretic!”

  Teenage Martyr 100 Word Story Photo by  Austrian National Library  on  Unsplash The third time, the Claddagh knocker flew off the door when he slammed it The cops were pretty rough when they found Patrick in the after-hours, three days later,well-toasted at sixteen. After a few nights in juvenile, he was released to his mom and stepdad and was tired of running but not tired of rebelling. So the next time they pissed him off, he decided on a hunger strike. Took them a while to notice he was skipping meals, but when they did, Mom freaked. “You’re completely insane!” she shrieked. Patrick screamed right back. “Grandma worshipped  Bobby Sands !” I don’t generally write 100 Word Fiction that will require a bit of research on the part of the reader, but since the world is in a tumultuous time I thought it might be interesting to tie in a rebel who has probably been forgotten, though I’m sure Bobby Sands is still both worshipped and reviled in small parts of the worl...

  Difference of Opinion 100 Word Story Jimmy Doom Jun 12  · 1 min read Photo by  Thanh Mai Nguyen  on  Unsplash “That rent seems awfully cheap for a view of the river.” Ken sighed. It was audible over the phone. “You’ve always been a cynic, Guillermo. They’re just nice people, not gougers.” “What do they do for a living that allows them not to be gou gers?” “Political consultants,” Ken said. “ I don’t know which side of the spectrum, don’t really care. I gotta do light maintenance, mow the lawn, bring in the mail, which is what I’m doing right now.” “Political consultants?” Guillermo asked, rhetorically. “I never trusted that job.” Ken laughed at his friend’s paranoia, then Guillermo heard the explosion.

  Hot Stoves and Amusement Parks It’s Your Responsibility To Teach Your Kids Not To Bully Disabled Kids Jimmy Doom Feb 20  · 3 min read Photo by  Ricardo Moura  on  Unsplash It seems the social media multiverse is patting humanity on the back because a few people, including some celebrities, rallied around a kid bullied due to dwarfism and now the kid is going to Disneyworld. That’s great. Now look in the mirror and see whose fault it is that the kid got bullied in the first place. You teach your little angels not to touch a stove, don’t you? To say please and thank you? Then how fucking hard is it to teach a kid not to pick on another kid who is different than them? There’s this thing Al Gore may or may not have invented called the internet. At the first sign of morning sickness, on this internet, you can download a gallery of every conceivable-pun intended-way a kid may differ from your plausibly physically and intellectually normative kid. Have you ...

  If They Just Shortened The Constitution By a Few Amendments, I’d Totally Read It My Slackjaw Contest Reject Photo by  Andy Feliciotti  on  Unsplash To Whom It May Concern, Our liberty means everything to our freedom, and the Constitution is the cornerstone of that linchpin but there’s no polite way to say this: The Constitution is old and like…huge. I know the Founding Fathers meant well, but there were way less distractions when it was written in the 1800s, especially before trains. 5000 Words is just too many for busy American taxpayers like myself, and others, many of them with jobs. But if they shortened the damn thing, I’d totally read it. For America’s citizens to be informed, the Legislature or the Department of the Interior or whoever’s responsible needs to capsulize the information for easy reading. Like multiple Tweets, with like some sick GIFs, or something. So it’s about time they remove some amendments. I’m not saying all Amendments are bad. I love som...