Jimmy Doom's Roulette Weal

  Woke Women of Instagram The Age of Incomplete Enlightenment Photo by  Katarina Šikuljak  on  Unsplash She’s committed and passionate. She’s a Pisces, though she objects to the use of the fish’s likeness without permission. She believes in anarchy. She hates the mole on her left buttock and carnivores. She’s outraged by the system and loud garbage trucks after Sunday Funday. She, (a pronoun that she has told her followers is under consideration for dumping in favor of the more inclusive  they ), doesn’t post many thirsty beach shots, though there are a few, right cheek only) among the photos of her rescue chinchilla and her life hacks for ecofriendly urination. For weeks she has reminded us that she loathes discrimination against  races, religions, species, genders, non-genders, abilities, plants, and sunrises.  She informs us   that exclusionary practices will not be tolerated, she demands that we unfollow if we have ever even witnessed any of a...

Photo by  HelpStay.com  on  Unsplash It was date number two, a little Italian place by the zoo. "I've told you so much about my work and my pets," Denise said. "What about you? Any interesting or unique hobbies?" Nate smiled, sipped wine, took a moment. “My father used to ridicule me for having a smaller than average penis,” he said, “so when I’m standing at a line of urinals I look at other men’s penises. Not in a sexual way, mind you, but because I need to reassure myself that I’m not that small.” “Oh…” Denise composed herself and smiled. “Anything else?” Nate nodded. “Boxing.”

  If They Just Shortened The Constitution By a Few Amendments, I’d Totally Read It My Slackjaw Contest Reject Photo by  Andy Feliciotti  on  Unsplash To Whom It May Concern, Our liberty means everything to our freedom, and the Constitution is the cornerstone of that linchpin but there’s no polite way to say this: The Constitution is old and like…huge. I know the Founding Fathers meant well, but there were way less distractions when it was written in the 1800s, especially before trains. 5000 Words is just too many for busy American taxpayers like myself, and others, many of them with jobs. But if they shortened the damn thing, I’d totally read it. For America’s citizens to be informed, the Legislature or the Department of the Interior or whoever’s responsible needs to capsulize the information for easy reading. Like multiple Tweets, with like some sick GIFs, or something. So it’s about time they remove some amendments. I’m not saying all Amendments are bad. I love som...