Jimmy Doom's Roulette Weal

  Hot Stoves and Amusement Parks It’s Your Responsibility To Teach Your Kids Not To Bully Disabled Kids Jimmy Doom Feb 20  · 3 min read Photo by  Ricardo Moura  on  Unsplash It seems the social media multiverse is patting humanity on the back because a few people, including some celebrities, rallied around a kid bullied due to dwarfism and now the kid is going to Disneyworld. That’s great. Now look in the mirror and see whose fault it is that the kid got bullied in the first place. You teach your little angels not to touch a stove, don’t you? To say please and thank you? Then how fucking hard is it to teach a kid not to pick on another kid who is different than them? There’s this thing Al Gore may or may not have invented called the internet. At the first sign of morning sickness, on this internet, you can download a gallery of every conceivable-pun intended-way a kid may differ from your plausibly physically and intellectually normative kid. Have you ...

  If They Just Shortened The Constitution By a Few Amendments, I’d Totally Read It My Slackjaw Contest Reject Photo by  Andy Feliciotti  on  Unsplash To Whom It May Concern, Our liberty means everything to our freedom, and the Constitution is the cornerstone of that linchpin but there’s no polite way to say this: The Constitution is old and like…huge. I know the Founding Fathers meant well, but there were way less distractions when it was written in the 1800s, especially before trains. 5000 Words is just too many for busy American taxpayers like myself, and others, many of them with jobs. But if they shortened the damn thing, I’d totally read it. For America’s citizens to be informed, the Legislature or the Department of the Interior or whoever’s responsible needs to capsulize the information for easy reading. Like multiple Tweets, with like some sick GIFs, or something. So it’s about time they remove some amendments. I’m not saying all Amendments are bad. I love som...

  The Wall A Simple Lesson, Oft Forgotten Photo by Jimmy Doom, December 2018 Looking at the over 58,000 names on this wall can be overwhelming. This is the memorial to a war that divided America. There are thousands of books written on that war if you wish to research it. Nearly 60,000 human beings will never get to read those books. They did what their country asked of them. As John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, “Ask not…” America is divided again.  Maybe it has always been divided and the idea of national unity has been the illusion, the mirage. There is no reason on this day, in this moment, to list where the chasms and the fissures in our nation's soul reside. In that photo, in that small fragment of that massive structure, you see the varied and diverse names of the citizens who were united in one thing: They asked themselves what they could do for their country. 45 years have passed since the end of that conflict. The names on the wall did not live to witness that end. Photo ...

  Ghosts and Obligations Short Fiction about Honor And Mayhem Photo by  James Fitzgerald  on  Unsplash T here are different levels of obligation. There’s the Hippocratic Oath, the pledge that all doctors make that holds them to the highest professional and moral standards. Sure, some of ’em fuck it up, but it’s there, and doctors gotta work too hard for too long at too great an expense to not take it seriously. Then there’s the obligation, with a throat full of phlegm while edging the lawn, to spit it on your own property and not on your neighbor’s prize rosebushes that get trimmed and pruned every fourteen minutes, six and a half days a week. You didn’t ever promise not to, but… Darren Elmore’s obligations floated somewhere in between those. Darren is rich. That inherently comes with a lot of obligations, many of which rich people spend a lot of time and money trying to waltz away from. But Darren wasn’t born rich. Darren didn’t wanna be rich. Or, more accurately, r...